Lies, Lies, Lies and more Lies. Oh, get an Instant Pot they said. Your life will be better than ever if you get an instant pot they said. Get an instant pot and every time you look at it fat little angels will jump out and throw $100 bills at your face, and they will smell like curry. Ok. Well. Part of that was true, it was not $100 bills though. It was a Loonie. I’m not Canadian. I can’t spend the sweet curry smelling coin. I can tape it to my lip and sniff it all day long until I drift off to sleep dreaming of Thai Food in Ontario.
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… oh. huh. What was I saying? Oh yeah. Lies!
The marketing minions said Instant Pot is a smart multi-use Electric Pressure Cooker, the angels themselves designed it with the super powers of Convenience, Dependability and Safety. You life will be filled with free time and you family will love you more and spend tons of time with you since you won’t be cooking all night long. The instant pot cooks things 2-6 times faster.
Sure, that is true. What they don’t tell you is that since it cooks that fast, those teenagers you gave birth too now have the ability to eat about 12 different times during an average day. Free Time say good bye. Now I have to get two part time jobs just to cover the cost of that stunningly delicious and super easy to prepare food that those bottomless pits at my house won’t stop eating.
I’ve got to go get another job so I can afford a gym membership. That dang instant pot and its stews, dumplings, porridges, jams, oh and the cheese cake… I take it all back. I love my instant pot.
Mmmm cheese cake.
